sometimes

sometimes . i just get feddup .

feddup with life

feddup with myself

and 

with everything around me .

and i sometimes ask myself 

when is it all gonna be over ?

when am i gonna die ?

but then i realize am i ready for death ?

because if i cant survive on earth

how am i ever gonna find a way to survive there .

in a world we never saw

never felt 

just heard .

its either the hot hellfull of screaming people asking for help .

wishing they could go back .

but i have a choice if i live wisely now .

suck in this feddup feeling .

suck in all this negativity

and 

just live my life as a Muslim

and 

try my best , 

maybe .

just maybe .

i could go to the place they call " heaven "